What makes you feel safe in your relationship? For me, it's trust. If you want a rock solid foundation for your marriage, check out these 3 steps.

1. Give Autonomy. Is nagging, threatening or throwing out ultimatums getting you what you crave in your relationship? Even if your partner gives in to your demands, do you like the way you're showing up? Instead of focusing on what he's doing wrong experiment with letting your husband make his own decisions and focus on the one person you can control; yourself. You don't have to agree with all of his decisions but you can accept them. If you're worried about the outcome of his choices remind yourself that these can be life lessons and not wife lessons. The capable, smart, sexy man I married stepped up pretty quickly once I stepped back.

   
   

2. Respect his Privacy. Stop tracking your husband ASAP! Stop snooping through his phone. Shopping for pain is consuming, stressful and so harmful (for YOU). You will feel dignified giving your partner space and grace and he will no longer feel suffocated. I made the choice to trust my husband and also affirm him by expressing how grateful I am for such a trustworthy husband. Whether he's holding the fort while I'm on a girls trip, or I'm sitting on the back of his motorcycle, or he's booking all of our travel arrangements for our next adventure in Costa Rica, my husband's got this and I trust him. How liberating!

   
   

3. Stop Punishing. Remember in the beginning when you were hopeful, excited, and in love? Get back to girlfriend mode and start accepting your partner again. Before relationship coaching when I was desperate to start a family I shamed my husband about smoking. I forwarded health articles, left Nicorette gum by his truck keys, and told him how smoking affected our chances of getting pregnant. Ouch! In turn, he sneaked cigarettes and lied to me to cover his tracks. He was struggling and I made him feel worse. He eventually conquered his addiction and went years without a Marlboro and then deja vu, I smelled smoke in his workshop. But this time I trusted my husband and decided to let it go. Two days later he walked into our kitchen, shook his head and announced he was addicted to cigarettes again. I gave him a hug and said, "You've got this babe." This is emotional safety. He was safe to be vulnerable with me and I was accepting and loving.

   
   

   This may feel like a stretch, and you may be thinking, what if this doesn't change anything? I hear you. But, what if this changes everything? It sure has for me and my marriage.

   
   

   Are you craving change and curious about private coaching? Take the brave first step and schedule a free Discovery Call.